Health alert: Community ignoring Maroonitis warnings

Westmead Hospital has taken its urgent search for a Maroonitis cure to the big guns in town: the Westmead Institute for Medical Research (WIMR).

More than 40 individuals have presented to Westmead Hospital’s emergency department in the past fortnight with the condition, which is caused when NSW-based individuals support QLD in the Origin series. 

Most of the affected patients were rushed to the hospital via Ambulance after game one. They showed maroon spots, high blood pressure, colour blindness and heart ache.

Westmead Hospital’s emergency department director Dr Matthew Vukasovic said help was required by the best researchers in Sydney to cure the condition. 

“This condition is easily avoided by taking off the maroon jersey and throwing it in the bin,” Dr Vukasovic said. 

“Unfortunately people are still supporting QLD in NSW though, so we are going to have to find a cure as it’s looking likely QLD is going to lose the series.” 

The researchers at WIMR have been working around the clock hunting for a cure, with a bright blue formula looking promising. 

The formula would be injected directly into the veins, curing the individual of Maroonitis. The only side effect so far is a painful cramping feeling in the abdomen when QLD scores a try.

Dr Vukosavic wishes the team at WIMR all the best with the search for a cure.

“I look forward to hearing from the fantastic team at WIMR,” Dr Vukasovic.

“I also encourage the community to think wisely about who they support for game two. You could be saving yourself an emergency department visit.”