Trigger warning: This article relates to infant loss.
Fijian born Kellyville resident, Adi Korovou, always wanted to be a mum.
As the eldest of seven children, Adi was always surrounded by family, and knew from an early age that she too wanted a life like this for herself.
In October 2021, Adi discovered she was pregnant and both her and her husband Eddie were overjoyed. On 14th April 2022, she gave birth to a healthy baby girl named Losalini at Westmead Hospital.
Losalini, a Fijian name which means ‘beautiful rose’, and the name shared with her sister and great grandmother, is the best Mother’s Day present Adi could ask for.
The first time Adi held her baby daughter in her arms she says she was “just so so happy that I kept kissing her and thinking ‘thank you, thank you’ ”.
Losalini is a ‘rainbow baby’; a term coined for a healthy baby born after losing a baby due to miscarriage, infant loss, stillbirth, or neonatal death. It comes from the idea of a rainbow appearing in the sky after a storm, or after a dark and turbulent time.
“When Losalini was born, it took a while for her to cry, so I was just so worried and kept asking if she was breathing – but she was perfect,” said Adi.
This Mother’s Day is going to be so happy because she is here.”
One year ago, just two weeks shy of Mother’s Day 2021, Adi gave birth to Veniana, her first daughter who was born sleeping at 39 weeks.
Adi had just had her final doctor’s appointment and was booked in for an induction a week later. However, the next day she noticed a decrease of movement, and after a hospital scan, was told her daughter no longer had a heartbeat.
“I just felt so numb and didn’t know whether to yell or scream, so I just kept crying and crying,” recalled Adi.
“I wanted someone to blame but there was no explanation to what had happened, and the midwife kept reassuring me that it wasn’t my fault.”
Two days later, Adi left the hospital in disbelief that she was leaving without her baby.
“Mother’s Day last year was just so hard and very emotional,” said Adi.
“I kept thinking, “this is supposed to be the happiest time of my life”, but instead it was a total nightmare – I kept waiting for someone to wake me up.”
After months of working through their grief with family support and prayer, Adi and Eddie decided they wanted to try for another baby, and quicky conceived baby Losalini.
“When I learned of being pregnant again, my first thought was, “Oh my God, what if something happens with this baby too,” so I spoke with my doctor and he gave me a card for the Perinatal Advice Referral and Liaison Service (PEARLS) at Westmead Hospital,” said Adi.
PEARLS provides both advice, additional specialist support and referrals for pregnant women experiencing a complicated pregnancy, including bereavement.
“Tracey was my midwife throughout my pregnancy and was very supportive and helpful,” said Adi.
“She really understood what I went through and felt like a second mum to me.
She was always there to answer my calls and texts if I was ever feeling uneasy about my baby’s movements and would tell me to come to hospital so we could check the heartbeat together if I was every worried.”
At 37 weeks, Adi was induced and gave birth to her healthy rainbow baby Losalini with her sister and husband by her side.
This year, Adi is very much looking forward to Mother’s Day and will be sharing in a special lunch with her whole family.
“When I look at Losalini, I still can’t believe I made this tiny, beautiful human,” said Adi.
“I am so grateful for my rainbow baby.”
For information on services, programs and resources for parents and parents expecting a baby, who are experiencing mental health issues, please visit Mental health help for parents and babies.